How much pleasure do you not allow yourself in a day? How much pleasure are you denying?
o Have that tea bag, special coffee…
o Wear that underwear, that dress, that top
o Put on that perfume, that cream, that lipstick
o Eat that ……”
And its only 10am in the morning, how much pleasure are you missing in a day? A year? A lifetime?
It fascinates me that for a culture of pleasure seeking, pain avoiding individuals, we still harbor guilty feelings about our own pleasure. It’s unnecessary, frivolous, a waste of precious time. We practice willpower, abstinence, the less we ‘give in’ to ourselves the ‘better’ we are. And when we do succumb; we have feelings of defeat, weakness and sometimes humiliation.
How can a poor girl (or guy) win?
We’ve come from a society that for thousands of years revolved around constraint and following rules, or be faced with dire consequences – particularly if you’re a woman. And on some level we still harbor this – punishment and reward systems designed to motivate us to tow the line, do the ‘right’ thing and contribute in a cooperative way to our society. Then add on your cultural or family dynamic backgrounds and you have a world of shut down, disconnect, right and wrong – with a truck load of guilt. No wonder we have trouble ‘finding ourselves’ and connecting to our ideal diet.
So in this punishment and rewards system, we actively avoid painful experiences, we crave pleasurable ones, yet it isn’t safe (or socially acceptable) to live life following your bliss. Hmmm. It’s a bit of a conundrum. It’s a yo-yo of scraping by on whatever pleasure you can hustle, whilst denying, berating and imploding with guilt (should’s and shouldn’ts) – where you hit rock bottom, irritation and anger and then the cravings begin again – which has you grabbing for a bit of pleasure, hustling for your self worth…and often in the wrong places.
When we are able to step outside of this generational programming and see our yearnings as a roadmap to our most fulfilled life, we can allow our pleasure to seduce us – allow ourselves to follow the dance of desire that always leads us to where we need to be, in perfect time. You see, the sweetness of life, the succulence of our life-juice and the vibe of our soul is contained in our access to pleasure. It isn’t frivolous, or a waste of time. It isn’t weak or selfish. It is absolutely essential to the unfolding of who you are. When we follow our pleasure, we find a life and diet designed by us, for us, to live a life we are seduced by.