So recently I attended a 3-day workshop on awakening your magnetism and lusciousness with Saida Desilets. It was 3 days of meeting the edges of my comfort zone and stretching beyond them….that’s tough work. So I have total empathy for those of you that are on a path of redefining your edges too.
The beauty in meeting our discomfort zone is we meet our beliefs and fears holding us back and have ‘direct contact’ with them – so we can really see, hear and feel what’s running us. When we find this sweet spot of vulnerability we can begin to peel back our layers and heal.
Then guess what? We emerge like a butterfly from a cocoon – a comfort zone cocoon – into something more magnificent, a more complete and compelled version of our true authentic selves. So the discomfort serves right? Not only does it allow us to tap into what is actually lurking behind our “not good enough”, but we realise we can go beyond it.
I always advocate diving into anything that has a feeling of discomfort or resistance about it – it is a red flag that we need healing and awareness there…and that it is part of our path of owning our genius. The trick is to go as fast as the slowest part of yourself – when you do this you continue to grow incrementally forward – when we thrust upon ourselves enormous uncomfortable change, we crash and burn, move into resentment and end up further back than when we started.
The terrific thing is too, that the more we allow ourselves opportunity to sit in and move through discomfort, the more comfortable we become with the feeling of discomfort and the less we run our lives in avoidance.
So. Back to my insights.
The whole workshop is steeped in ancient Taoist philosophy (Ancient Chinese Philosophy) around longevity, life force and feminine power, with Saidas twist – her enormous body of wisdom applied to the female reproductive system – from the pituitary in the brain, right through the body to the Yoni (Sanskrit word for Vagina).
It is a set of practices designed to awaken your life juice, your “succulence”, amplify your connection to self and your hidden magnetic power, improve muscle tone and symptoms within the female reproductive system. It is not until day 3 that we begin to introduce the Jade Egg – an egg of solid nephrite Jade.
Yes, it was new for me too – to be in a group of women ‘doing’ something that seems sexual. However, it was actually the opposite of that. The way Saida teaches her practices are all about the feminine – the quiet, internal spaces of personal power, connection to self and life force. She teaches that our divine sexual selves are radiant and luscious, but SO sacred it is for us first…for us to share with whoever is worthy enough to enter such a sacred and magnificent temple. The reverence she describes for women, their Yonis, wombs, ovaries and breasts is an experience I will never forget. I have never heard anyone love and honor women and their bodies in such a way that no matter your journey or the way you feel about your body – you literally feel the ancient sacredness of our sexual selves and of our connection to all the women who have come before us.
So, back to the class. We are all lying down, covered with a blanket, eyes closed and doing a set of breathing and muscle exercises for personal connection to this quiet space of internal ecstasy and awakening….and I found it. I honored my slowest, most vulnerable self, I stayed with the first exercise while others advanced on. But I tell you, I have never felt ecstasy like that before. It felt like the peak of the most exquisite orgasm you’ve ever had, but without that sense of ‘coming down’ or ‘losing it’ or out of control and it didn’t fade or pulse – it was a constant “singing”. As opposed to the noisy, external version of pleasure and orgasm, it was incredibly quiet and internal – I had access to it only on my outbreath and experienced its full weight in the stillness between exhale and inhale. So sweet was this ecstasy running in two ‘cords’ up and down the full length of my body and out my head and toes…I seriously hung on to that stillness, not wanting to take another breath, not wanting to leave this place. Like the dance of Yin and Yang, as soon as I inhaled I was taken out of it, but on the next exhale I had opportunity to really connect to it again, which depended on my ability to release and surrender…see what a quiet and powerful space the feminine is?
Her power is in our subtlety – her magnificence hides in our mystery.
The most powerful aspects of you as a woman are not in the loud, out-there versions of yourself. They are not in your ability to achieve and succeed – they are not measurable. Your absolute grounded power and masterful magnificence is in your subtle mystery…those aspects of yourself that are as yet undiscovered, so quiet they barely whisper to you. Her immovable power is in your ability to surrender control and release into what life-force-lusciousness she can pour into you when you lift the veil and enter her sacred quiet space.